forestofglory

and I have come to the conclusion that most of it is about the fantasy of having really good parents, and not about the reality or even the fantasy of being a parent.

That sounds very plausible!

I do think there's some fic-with-kids being written out there that feels more true to the parental side of it, although it would not at all surprise me that it's a minority of fic-with-kids. Have you ready philomytha's Vorkosigan fics with kid!Miles in them? They felt more realistic of the parenting experience to me, in that, "oh god I have three hundred other things to do but I can't just ignore my child asking the fifteenth iteration of why, even though I'd really like to, right about now" way.