So, I Read Fanfic Now

[forestofglory]

Recently I have been trying and enjoying a bunch of new to me mediums and genres-- one of these is fanfic. I feel a bit silly for only starting now in my mid 30s. I've been a fan my whole life, and part of online SFF fandom for a long time, but I'm pretty new to transformative fandom -- the type of fandom that focuses on fanfic and other creative responses to sources. So I wanted to write a bit about why I didn't read fanfic in the past and what I'm enjoying about reading it now.

The main thing that has changed is my attitude to the idea of canon. When I was a kid I used to go to movies and complain that they weren't exactly like the book. I got attached to the idea of one true version of a story and didn't like any changes. Obviously this wasn't really a great mindset for approaching fanfic, which is all about different takes. Over the years I have gradually softened on this. Some of that is just experiencing a lot more media as seeing that creators are biased or don't focus on my favorite parts of the source. I’ve gotten more critical of how stories reflect the injustice in the world, and that has made me more aware of stories as created by people, who are often flawed. All of that has made me less interested in one true source.

Over the last several years I’ve made more friends from the transformative parts of fandom, and this made me more interested in transformative works. My friends showed me how they related to fanfic. I learned how it can be a critique of problematic works, and about the female centered fanfic community, the fanfic gift economy and non commercial fanfic spaces like the Archive of Our Own (AO3). All of that sounded really appealing, but I was content to support my friends without joining in.

Because I had friends participating in transformative fandom I started listening to Fansplaining, a podcast about fandom. Even if I wasn't sure about reading fic I wanted to learn more about my friends’ communities. And Fansplaining always made transformative fandom sound delightful even as they explored some of its problems.

The other thing that happened recently that made fanfic more accessible to me was that I started watching TV by myself. I know this is something most people do but I was reluctant for a long time. But last year I came home from WisCon with so much I wanted to watch that R really wasn't interested in that I finally got over my hangups and started watching stuff. Watching more TV means I'm consuming more canons that have transformative fandoms.

So with all that background I finally decided to try read some fanfic! And of course I really enjoyed it, and have been reading a lot of it recently. I feel a bit weird about how much I like slash (ie m/m focused fic) because I am generally all about the female characters. I spend a lot of time yelling about fictional moms or the lack thereof. It's strange to me that a genre that's mostly written by women for women focuses so much on men. I guess everyone is affected by cultural narratives of whose stories are important. I’m also aware of critiques of racism in fandom. I guess I’m just going to have to accept that I like things that are imperfect and be aware of that while liking them anyways. That’s hardly new. With SFF I've been trying to mitigate these issues by seeking out works by marginalized creators. That's harder to in anonymised fan spaces. However I intend to keep reading and listening to these types of critiques and thinking about how I can do better. Despite these issues I do like fanfic and slash. It's delightful!

People sometimes talk about fanfic as though it has all the things that are missing from mainstream media. I have not found that to be true. I have yet to come across tons of fanfic about moms for example. (If you know of some please rec it!) But there are things that I really love in that I wasn't finding elsewhere. Fanfic is great for cute romance that is good at consent and doesn't have gender dynamics that make me want to scream. Fanfic is also good for quiet domestic fluff which is something I adore. I also really enjoy some of the ways fanfic can play with canon. I like the way it can expand the world building in all kinds of fun and interesting directions. And I enjoyed Alternative Universes (AUs) and how they translate things between settings. That can really illuminate character traits or just be downright clever. Branching paths AUs, where something happened differently than in canon and the story explores how that would play out, are also really interesting way to explore settings and characters. There is such a lot of good stuff out there and I’m still learning about it and appreciating all the different types of things it does.

I’m having so much fun reading fanfic. I wish I had read more of it sooner -- but then I didn’t really have the approach to source media to appreciate fanfic until recently. I'm glad I have got to a point where fanfic is part of my reading diet because it's great. I’m enjoying all the fluff and some of the angst and generally having fun exploring the vast universe of fanfiction.

Comments

[ambyr]

I have yet to come across tons of fanfic about moms for example. (If you know of some please rec it!)

Give me an idea of the fandoms you’re into and I’ll see what I can do...

[forestofglory]

I would totally read or watch a small canon if that meant I could read a bunch of fic about moms. So you know I'm not too picky here.

Lets see.. I think one of the ATLA/Korra fics you reced me was about moms. The Star Trek podcast I was listening to made me thing I should really look in Trek fic more for this -- so far I've mostly encountered TOS/AOS fic which is not very mom focused. I feel like Steven Universe has lot room for fic about moms but the couple of times I've poked my nose in there its mostly been very shippy fic. Um, I've read a bit of Vorkosigan fic but non-centered on moms even though there are great mom characters in canon. There's probably other stuff I would read I just haven't yet.

[alexseanchai]

idk about tons but there is definitely fic about moms: these are all Miraculous Ladybug

Freedom_Shamrock Dadrien and Mominette series

TheNovelArtist Second Chances (trust me)

Talvin "Mother's Day"

quicksilversquared "Brought Down by Baguettes" (also How to Announce a Pregnancy and There's No Camembert in Tibet plus outtakes, but those are both the second parts of series where the first part isn't very mom-ish)

ChaoticNeutral "Mama's Day" (but start with Miraculous: Tales of Littlebug and Chaton Noir series; "Nezumi" is optional for this purpose)

[forestofglory]

Thank you! How much canon do I need to know for these? I've only watched one episode of Miraculous Ladybug.

[cahn]

Moms! :D Heh, perhaps unsurprisingly, I have recs!

Two Lilies, Secret Garden, Lily and Susan Sowerby

A Dream You Dream Together Is Reality, Inception, Philippa and Mal

shake it like a ladder to the sun, Once Upon a Time, Emma and Mary Margaret Swan (can be read without knowing canon, I think, although it's more resonant if you do)

Mother Tongue, Earthsea, Apple and Tenar. Really lovely.

I like writing moms; here are a couple of mine:

A Little Less Genghis Khan, the canon is the delightful music video Genghis Khan which if you haven't watched is well worth watching. Synopsis: It's not always easy holding down an evil mastermind day job as a single mom.

The Monstrous Crying of Wind, Arthurian mythology, Ygraine, Morgause, and Morgan.

She Will Place on Your Head a Graceful Garland; She Will Bestow on You a Beautiful Crown Tanakh/Bible, Bathsheba and Abigail.

ETA: For stories about women in general, you could do worse than check out the stories for the Everywoman exchange or the Misses Clause challenge tag [stories about women written for Yuletide], though either way you will want to sort by fandom depending on what fandoms you like.

[forestofglory]

Thank you! So much awesome sounding stuff on this list!

[lunabee34]

This is really interesting! Thanks for sharing your journey. I didn't find fanfic until my mid-twenties when I was in grad school, but I have been involved in fandom ever since.

I've written a fair amount of fic about moms! What fandoms do you read in? I've written Firefly, SPN, Star Trek and HP mom fics. Probably some others in there too.

[forestofglory]

Thanks -- its nice to know other people who haven't been in fandom since they where teens.

I'm familiar with all of those except SPN.

[isis]

I have nothing to say other than welcome to the club! I used to be a mainstream SF/F fan (went to local cons and the occasional farther afield, and a few Worldcons, in my late teens through mid-twenties) but didn't discover fanfiction until my late 30s.

[forestofglory]

Thank you! It's nice to know other people have similar stories.

[schneefink]

Yeah, I don't know a lot of fic about moms either. I remember that SGA fandom had a phase (or maybe that's just how it appeared to me) where people wrote quite a lot of kidfic, though mostly for the main slash pairing, and then many fans complained how badly the kids were written and I think that discouraged others (certainly me) from writing it, even when Teyla became a mother.
And mothers of adult characters are sadly often conspicuously missing in canons.

[alexseanchai]

not just adult characters; one of the AtLA series I linked upthread is a bunch of mostly-AU fics about the mothers of the main cast and what they did or could be doing, and the main cast is all twelve to sixteen

[forestofglory]

The are so many missing mothers in media. I've really been noticing it since I became a mom myself. I've stopped reading YA books with dead moms and it turns out that means that I don't read most of the big SFF YA books anymore.

I do sometimes read kidfic and think that its not very realistic -- but then its hard to write about kids when you aren't around them much and you don't have a lot of accurate media of what they are like. But its frustrating that problems like that discourage people form writing more about childcare!

[nyctanthes]

I'm so glad you asked this question. I think almost everything I've written to date includes thoughts and interactions with mothers (and/or fathers) from the perspective/POV of their children, and I've written one short piece from a mom's perspective. Because I'm interested in those family dynamics. But I'd love to read more; and, I'd like to see more shows that have strong, *complex* depictions of motherhood. Two shows I watch that have interesting ones are Harlots and Humans.

And welcome to fanfic. :)

People sometimes talk about fanfic as though it has all the things that are missing from mainstream media. I have not found that to be true.

I agree.

[forestofglory]

Thank you! I love family relationships, and I am a little bit frustrated that popular media centers romantic relationships so much.

[annathecrow]

(I came here through the fictional_fans group.)

It’s really interesting to read about your experience, especially the way you think about the things you get out of reading fanfic. I started with fandom and fanfic late-ish (in my mid-20s) and I don’t think I ever stopped to think about it, but I might now.

Also, I come bearing mom-focused fic recs!

–

You mentioned Star Trek; I have fallen down the ST:AOS hole through the sheer amount of fic on AO3 and then spent a lot of time yelling at it because both the canon’s and fandom’s relationship to the two mothers (Amanda Grayson and Winona Kirk) is… frustrating. There are some really good pieces there anyway:

an upbeat kind of dirge by screamlet
- AU; Amanda Grayson is the one who survives the destruction of Vulcan, not Sarek.

The House of Amanda by screamlet
- “Amanda Grayson raises two boys on Vulcan”. I think this belongs with the previous fic, but it’s not a series and can be read separately.

Delilah by waldorph
- AU; Winona Kirk in place of Jim in the first ST:AOS movie. Warning for darker tone.

Dexterity by leupagus & screamlet & waldorph
- vaguely canon-compliant, pre-canon; Amanda and Winona meet during a botched diplomatic mission. Funny as hell.

Pro Familia Mori by igrockspock
- AU; from the description: “Winona Kirk was captain of the U.S.S. Kelvin for 12 minutes. She saved 800 lives.” Warning for death of the main character, but it’s worth it IMO.

–

Would you read a Star Wars fic?

family Amidala by dirgewithoutmusic (started as “the one where Padme lives” on Tumblr) is really good.

Jedi Shmi AU by MirandaTam is brilliant and probably my fave SW fic ever.

–

And a few more from other fandoms which might be hit-or-miss for you:

Giving up on Greener Grasses by missparker
- The Closer (TV), Major Crimes (TV); femslash with really unique focus on older characters; warning for explicit scenes

the seeds I’ve sown by evewithanapple
- Mad Max: Fury Road; post-canon focused on Dag

Plot Device by rachel2205 and And I Will Give You Honeysuckles by lordbyronsbloomers
- both Maleficent; first is a canon-compliant character study, second is a fluffy AU, so you can choose depending on your needs.

I hope you’ll find something you like. :) Fandom is great and there is so many good writers!

[forestofglory]

Thank you!

I've not been super keen on how ST:AOS characterizes the main crew but I love Amanda Grayson so I will check all of those out. Are you into Discovery at all? I like what that show has done with Amanda. The most recent season has so many moms -- I love it!

The Star Wars fics also sound great. I'm so mad about the total lack of prenatal care in that universe!

[wafflelate]

(here via fictional fans)

Here are a few recs — largely stabs in the dark fandomwise. Some of them are mom-focused and some of them I've just really loved.

Eleutherophobia by SoloMoon — This is a series of really beautiful post-canon Animorphs fics that I can't recommend enough. Marco's mom is a main character and overall the range and depth of character interactions is great. Definitely requires reading Animorphs and will absolutely spoil the end, though.

“Bastard, orphan, son of [redacted]”: The Hamilton-Washington Connection Through a Maternal Lens by icarusandtheson — Meta about Hamilton's mom! A straight up nonfiction essay.

Hello Operator, Please Give Me Number Nine by Starlingthefool — Susie Derkins from Calvin & Hobbes plays Calvinball with Death, a Yuletide fic.

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain — ATLA, 15k, Zuko as the Fire Lord with lots of perfect worldbuilding.

Better Than Aspic by sholio — A fic about Karen Wheeler and Joyce Byers from Stranger Things. Not necessarily focused on them being moms, but very much about them supporting each other.

I also think you might enjoy exploring Fanlore, a wiki for fannish history and culture, if you haven't already! I linked to the Yuletide page up above, but there's tons on the site... browsing the featured articles from 2017, 2018, and 2019 would give you a place to start with nice, full articles.

[forestofglory]

Thank you!

I know about fanlore, but I haven't really explored -- I just read it when people link me to things. But poking around there more sounds like fun.

[starwatcher]

.
Just want to say, Welcome aboard! And I didn't discover fanfic till I was 49, so you have quite a head start in my view. (I think it was 49; I've slept since then. <g>) I find exposure to fanfic is a journey of broadening horizons. I started in one fandom, so invested in it that I didn't read any other, regardless of the many shows I watched. I'm on record, somewhere, saying that I don't see how people could spread their interest and love out to embrace multiple fandoms. LOLOLOL at me! I now read in so many fandoms that I lose count. I take spells of reading one character or fandom, and then the pendulum swings and I read more generally, until I swing in a different direction for awhile. Doesn't matter; no one's keeping score, and it's all good.

Anyway, wherever your interests take you, here's hoping you have lots of fun.
.

[forestofglory]

Thanks so much. I love hearing about how different people found fandom. I'm having lots of fun so far.

[alasse_irena]

I have....A Lot...to say about the way that fanfiction as a genre focuses so much on men. But for the minute I'll just say I'm glad you're finding the m/m engaging, because it's a pretty hefty chunk of what's there!

Also I'm so interested in the way you paralleled wanting the film to exactly resemble the book with not having space in your mind for fan narratives. I was definitely a "THIS FILM IS BETRAYING MY BOOK" kind of child, but it never occurred to me to demand the same kind of faithfulness of fanworks. I'm not sure why not, really. Possibly it was just that creating a movie adaptation of the book myself was obviously out of my reach, but if I wanted a different fan interpretation, I could write that easily enough...

[forestofglory]

I'd love to read your thoughts on fanfic focusing on men. Honestly I feel like I'm betraying my principles a bit by enjoying so much m/m stuff. Generally I'm all about centering women's stories, and yelling about fictional moms.

I remember bouncing off some HP fic in the early oughts because the style was so different than JKRs. I was defiantly bounded to the idea that the book was the one correct way for the story to be. (Teen me was a jerk sometimes -- at least I mostly kept this bit to myself) So yeah I do see film adaptations as creating a different version of the story in a way that's similar to some kinds of fic. Though now that I'm thinking about it fic is much more critical and generally has more interesting goals.

[yourlibrarian]

Just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading about how you came to fanfic, because stories from people who came to it as kids or teens are very similar so it's more interesting to hear about people who came to it later :)

My first thought about stories revolving around mothers was Hunith in Merlin fandom, but I don't recall any titles offhand (though I have come across several). But it sounds like you have plenty to dig into for now. (I have also been happy to see that Amanda gets bigger appearances in ST:Disco, plus Michael's relationship to her mother is rather central in that canon as well as parent figures generally).

I remember reading a wonderful story about Tony Stark and Peggy Carter and their relationship as he was growing up, which was a lovely view of the importance of Aunt Peggy.

There have also been good stories about Joyce in Buffy fandom, though quite a few are about Joyce only incidentally being a mother.

[forestofglory]

There is kind a dominant narrative about how one finds fanfic -- I felt a bit awkward before posting this because it was outside that. But then people where super supportive and also shared similar stories.

If you do remember titles I'm be happy to have even more recs!

I loved that Michael has so many material figures in Discovery.

I never really got into Buffy. Its seems like something that was really of a certain time and during that time I was being a snob about TV. And I've never been big on vampires anyways. I'm not at all sure it would work if I watched for the 1st time now.

[mekare]

Welcome to fandom! With Star Trek Disco I see you've found a canon where mothers play a more dominant role (and I dispair at the many canons where they are not mentioned - wtf?? - or killed on or off screen.) My mother died when I was in my teens but I was so very aware of how NOT normal a situation that was - mothers are so central in everyone's lives that it has always seemed so jarring to not see that importance reflected in the genres of media I like.

[forestofglory]

Thank you! Also I love your icon. The moms where something I really loved about Disco! Michel had so many moms -- it was amazing. I've been listening to a Trek podcast called Antimatter Pod and they recently did a episode on moms in Star Trek that was really good. But they counted all the mom's in Trek and it was only about 20 some. In a earlier episode they counted all the admirals and got to about 60. So Disco has lot to make up for.

I'm so sorry about your mom. I wrote a longer piece about missing moms in SFF if you are interested. It's something that I started noticing even more after I had a kid.

[heartsinhay]

I'm commenting way late, but if you haven't read it already I have to share my favorite Avatar fic about mothers, Chain of Flowers, about the Bei Fongs and their complicated family relationships.

[forestofglory]

It's never too late to comment! And thank you -- that was a good read!

[silveradept]

Hi, hello, and greetings from someone who didn't really acknowledge the transformative aspects of what they were doing for a significant while. I don't have anything to recommend, but I can at least be a data point of "I didn't really start reading fic until well into my thirties" as well. Which means I was writing it a lot earlier than I was reading it, but that's where having a more expansive vocabulary and conept really helps.

I enjoyed reading your journeye, because a certain fidelity to the canon was something I had, too, before I finally figured out that what I wanted was consistency, rather than canonicity. So long as something hangs together by its own rules, I find I'm pretty okay with wherever it goes.

[forestofglory]

Hello! Its always nice to hear from other people with similar experiences to mine, before I posted this I felt like it was really uncommon to get into fic after age 25 or so.

I'm going to have to think about consistency v canonicity. I defiantly like consistency, but I also really enjoy the way fic can play games with cannon in a way that had to become more open to. Maybe, I think?

[mxcatmoon]

Hi! I found your post through Fictional Fan. I'm late to the discussion, but I'm going to jump in anyway. Thanks for sharing. It was interesting to see things from the other side (I was born a transformational fan. LOL). Had a few comments on slash, which is still having to defend itself in 2019. Slash fans get accused of being misogynistic, pressured to include more women. Its *fantasy*, and we can't dictate what others like to fantasize about. To me it's like telling a straight man he has to include m/m in his porn collection. Of course if one is writing a huge epic with lots of original characters and a real plot (vs. just emotional relationship stuff), we might expect to see more women (although they tend to get labeled as Mary Sue). I guess it depends on what one is looking for when reading it.

Another interesting thing is the types of shows/movies we like. For myself, I actually favor shows that aren't great. They need fixing, so they need fanfic. ;) A really high quality, highly acclaimed show probably isn't going to inspire me to write about it. I can be a curative fan of some shows, never wanting to write or read fic. Others grab me and I have to write about them (speaking of TV here because I don't tend to get into movie fandom). The fun shows, the ones who don't take themselves too seriously. Xena vs. Law and Order, as example. That's just me, everyone is different.

[forestofglory]

Welcome!

I am really enjoying reading slash, I find it very emotionally satisfying. Sadly I think anything that people of marginalized genders make our own for pleasure is going to be attacked even in 2019.

But I can't help wishing there were just as many stories about but what if the mom had lived? And minor female characters getting to be center stage. And other things centering female characters. There is fanfic out there centering moms and I loved getting so many recs in response to this post.

I love seeing how fanfic can fix so many problems in the source material!

[kimboo_york]

Such a great thinky post that I do not have any good thinky replies to! I am...not in a brain space rn, if you get my drift, aaaaaaa

Mostly I want to comment on this line:
Even if I wasn't sure about reading fic I wanted to learn more about my friends’ communities.
...to say: gosh, how sweet and kind of you that is!!! What an excellent friend you are!
(I have very close friends who even now make fun of my relationship to fandom and fanfic, so...yeah).

[forestofglory]

Aw, thanks! Feel free to come back with more thoughts latter if you want.

And I'm sorry your friends are like that. I'm lucky to have good book fandom friends where we can greatly admire each other but understand that we don't always like the same things.